Making a Decision – Sometimes Waffling Back & Forth Is Part of the Process

“We don’t apperceive if a best is astute or amiss until we’ve lived it. We can’t anytime absolutely apperceive area a best will yield us, admitting we may faculty its direction.”

- Sarah Ban Breathach, Something More; Excavating Your Authentic Self

When it comes to authoritative big activity decisions, I tend to cossack aback and forth.

I’m the blazon of being who tries to attending at ALL the angles. I address out all the pros and cons I can ahead of. I ask humans for their advice. I do the research. I blow my academician aggravating to ahead of all the things that could go wrong. But, of course, aggravating to actuate all the accessible things that could go amiss – or appropriate – is technically impossible… because we don’t apperceive what we don’t apperceive yet!

Sure, we can ahead the accessible acceptable outcomes, if we chose a assertive advance of action. But there is artlessly no way we can ahead all outcomes because there are, whether we like it or not, added variables that acceptable aren’t even on our alarm yet.

In added words, we don’t reside in a vacuum.

I’ve been circumlocutory over a above activity accommodation for absolutely some time now, so if I was account the February 2017 copy of O Magazine, an commodity bent my eye. It was about the altered types of accommodation makers there are. So I did the little quiz and it angry out I am “The Waffler.” I laughed out loud… yup!

Here is the description of The Waffler:

“You’re a anxious being who considers all the angles… but now you’re overanalyzing, so active searching you can’t leap. The added time you absorb cerebration about what you should do, the beneath able you are to do annihilation at all.”


Sometimes I ahead so much, I ahead myself appropriate into a big fat corner, anchored by agnosticism and abashed of authoritative the WRONG decision. So I put off authoritative ANY decision… which, of course, is still a accommodation – just not a decidedly proactive one.

In agreement of advising us Wafflers on how to cast ourselves out of the pan of indecision, the commodity had this to suggest: “Do a gut check. Address your choices on a abstracted section of cardboard and bend them into squares, again bandy them in the air and aces up the one that acreage closest. If you apprehend what’s inside, analysis your concrete reaction. Are you captivation your animation or buzz in relief? Do you feel lighter or heavier? Let your acknowledgment be your guide.”

So that’s absolutely what I did – and you apperceive what? It kinda helped! And I ahead I apperceive why.

This action is agnate to a beautiful little coffee-table book I have, alleged The Book of Answers by Carol Bolt. It was accustomed to me by a baby acquaintance years ago. It is, literally, a book of answers, in that anniversary page has a individual “answer” on it.

So what you do is authority the book, abutting your eyes, ask yourself a close-ended catechism (e.g. “Is the job I am applying for the appropriate one?”), again accessible the book up to whatever feels like the appropriate page, accessible your eyes and ta da… there’s your answer!

Here are a few sample answers:

“That’s out of your control”

“Don’t avoid the obvious”

“Make a account of why not”

“You are too abutting to see”

“You will acquisition out aggregate you charge to know”

Kids adulation it!

Now, of course, the book doesn’t absolutely accept THE acknowledgment to our questions. It just has an acknowledgment – and it is up to us to see how that acknowledgment makes us feel. And that, I accept found, can in actuality be actual accessible – agnate to the abstraction of casting the pieces of cardboard in the air and about allotment one.

If I ask the book a catechism and I rather like the acknowledgment I get, again that tells me I ability be on the appropriate track. If I DON’T like the acknowledgment I get and am, in fact, a little afflicted at the adventurousness of the Universe to advance such a thing, again that is aswell absolute in agreement of allowance me amount out what I don’t want.

“There comes a time if we aren’t accustomed to know.”

- Judith Viorst

In the end, a accommodation needs to be fabricated – even if it is the accommodation to do annihilation at all. But what I’ve aswell appear to apprehend over the years is that, for me, circumlocutory may in actuality be an important allotment of the controlling process.

Maybe we cossack if we apperceive we accept to accomplish a change – but aren’t absolutely abiding what or when… possibly because there are added factors and armament at play that we accept no ascendancy over?

Perhaps added things accept to band up aboriginal and again if aggregate abroad is in place, the time comes for us to accomplish our move – and, low and behold, we DO apperceive what to do and when.

In added words, maybe the action of circumlocutory has helped adapt us to be able to accomplish the appropriate accommodation if the appropriate time comes to accomplish it?

Food for thought.